Figuring out that you're bisexual can be a tough journey, especially in India, where sexuality is something we whisper about behind closed doors. But imagine having to bust the myths & stereotypes about bisexual people, every time you're trying to date people? So, here we go.
Welcome to Gayathri’s list of top 10 things she wishes people knew about bisexuality.
We. Don’t. Want. A. Threesome.
Not with your girlfriend. Not with your best friend. Not with anybody else. It’s like expecting me to mix mutton biryani & ice cream. I like both, just not together.
Sex with a person of the same gender is just as “real” as straight sex.
The definition of sex differs from person to person. You really shouldn’t put your… nose into everything. It’s not as important as you think it is.
Bisexual people aren’t cheaters.
Just because we have more options, doesn’t mean we walk around seeing who we can sleep with next. We’re not some kind of hookup assassin. Cheating depends very much on the person, not their sexuality.
We aren’t “secretly gay” or “secretly straight”.
If I’m in a heterosexual relationship, I haven’t stopped being queer. I’m not “experimenting” when I’m in a homosexual relationship. I’m still gay. I’m as fruity as it gets.
WE ARE NOT SEX FIENDS.
I don’t do this just to get laid. I experience romantic & sexual attraction to both genders, while other bisexuals may not. Preferences change, so stop picturing 90s Bollywood serial vamps when you think of bisexual women.
I CAN BE FRIENDS WITH PEOPLE. EVERYONE IS NOT ON MY “HIT-ON” LIST.
Bisexual people are perfectly capable of being able to have platonic relationships, just like straight people can have friends of the opposite gender. When you guys assume that we’re hitting on you, you’re taking a little too much credit.
- Sideshaves /Cuffed Jeans / Silver Jewellery / Lots of Rings/Piercings ≠ Bisexual people
YOU GUYS, THERE ISN’T A SPECIFIC BISEXUAL LOOK. We’re not aliens, we’re just like anybody else???
Bisexual people can have preferences for any specific gender, and that does not stop them from being gay.
Sometimes, I prefer men over women or vice-versa. So, when you see me or anyone preferring one gender over the other, we haven’t picked “sides”. We're still a part of the LGBTQIA+ community.
We aren’t confused about ourselves.
The only thing that’s confusing is why everyone seems to think it’s a phase. Sexuality is just as fluid as gender, so let people be?
No. I actually just have nine points.
This is exactly why you shouldn’t let certain prejudices color your view of others, such as me, the writer.
Gayathri RN is a queer writer/poet, if the first three letters of her name didn’t make it clear enough.
A storyteller & public speaker by trade, she works as a trainer in a multi-community creative
leadership hub called The Reading Room, Trivandrum. When she isn’t walking around with her nose in a book, she can be found training the next generation of young leaders.
Her FAEvvorite product is the Buildable Matte Lipstick in ‘Too Dark’ https://www.faebeauty.in/collections/shop-buildable-matte-lipsticks/products/buildable-matte-lipstick-too-dark
Medium Handle: https://firstname.lastname@example.org